By Selwyn Duke

In response to my piece "Why John Edwards’ Affair Matters," F wrote:

In the Bible it says. I am the God of Abraham,
Issac and Jacob. Jacob was married to two women who were sisters, and he was
having sex with his wives maid servents. When I read your article I thought it
must be written by a women?? It was so condecending to men. Men think about sex
ever 20 seconds is something that I`m really sick of hearing. Men built this
nation, so I guess thinking about sex might spur men on? If you ask most guys
the big question they`d ask is "Why don`t Women think about sex?" The
disfunction is with women, not men. Women being asexual is a disfunction. Men
are sexual, men get stuff done. Even though they spend all day thinking about
SEX. Get your head out of your ***.  Do you really think with all these
powerful women out there that none of them have a boy toy? Get after them. Leave
us MEN to do our work. Even if we are distracted by sex every 20 seconds. Plus
don`t you realize that women have launched all out nuclear war against men?
Don`t you ever speak another negative word about your fellow men. We all need to
bond together, or we will be eaten alive. Most men are already eaten alive. By
divorce. Hope you`re not mad at me for telling you like it is. Us men have a
hard enough time with out you pilling on. Plus get off your moral high horse.
It`s sickening. How many wives did King David have? King Solomon? This idea
of one wife is a catholic thing, the catholics are an evil false religion! I
totally reject their teaching. I don`t have any problem with the president of
the USA having 50 wives, just as long as he`s not bought off by every special
interest on the palnet. You`re the problem. Bringing up the sexual history of
people has no bearing on how they will govern in any way.One man, one woman
being marriage is made up out of whole clothe. It`s never been like that in the
history of the world. Why the sex witch hunt now?

Dear F,

My article sounds like it was written by a woman, does it?  I find this interesting coming from a man who has reacted in a highly emotional manner to a piece that presents logical reasoning.  It also makes me think that I must be doing something right, since I’ve often been accused of expressing anti-female sentiment, such as when I wrote "Extolling the Female Tongue" and "The New Chivalry," just to mention a couple of examples.  Of course, the reality is that I approach matters from neither and anti-male nor anti-female perspective, but simply seek Truth. 

What is the Truth?  Each sex has its characteristic strengths and weaknesses, sins and virtues, and I take no prisoners when discussing them.  Having said this, I have written far more about female faults than male ones, but this is simply because that is necessary in our time.  We live in a feminist age, in which women are extolled and men demeaned, where the former’s characteristic sins are cast as virtues and the latter’s characteristic strengths are often portrayed as weaknesses.

So I agree with you: Men are second class citizens today.  However, this doesn’t mean I won’t discuss our sex’s foibles and faults honestly.  What I expressed in my Edwards piece about fathers changing their tune when they have daughters is an observable pattern.  If the Truth bothers you, it’s your problem, no mine.

As for the statistic concerning thinking about sex every 20 seconds, it must have eluded you that I registered doubt as to its veracity.  I did this because I’m sick of hearing it as well and regard it to be one of those stupid myths that people bandy about thoughtlessly.  Be that as it may, men’s minds are often occupied by sex, and I used this as a lead in to make a larger point. 

As for women, you contradict yourself.  First you accuse them of being asexual, then you point out that many powerful ones have boy toys.  So let’s be rational, shall we?  Given how women nowadays often walk around looking like cheap harlots — and given the frequent stories we read about female teachers having affairs with young boys — it’s obvious that lust isn’t unknown to the fairer sex.  This, however, doesn’t change the fact that it’s a characteristic male sin. 

As your email progresses, you go more and more badly awry.  Yes, men certainly get things done, but it’s not because of lust.  When people — men or women — have accomplishments, it’s despite their sinfulness, not because of it. 

Now let’s deal with your attack on the Catholic Church and errant grasp of morality and Scripture.  In the Bible, Paul the Apostle alluded to the importance of monogamy when he said:

"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife . . . ."
  (I Tim.3:2)

And,

". . . ordain elders in every city…if any be blameless, the husband
of one wife . . . ." (Titus 1:6)

Moreover, Jesus himself said in Matthew:

"Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning
  made them male and female, and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
  and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain [two] shall be one flesh?"

But whether or not you accept this, F, the fact is that this "witch hunt," as you put it, is nothing new.  Monogamy has been the norm for all the history of Christendom, and we ignore this proper marriage model at our own peril.

Now let’s talk about you.  Your emotional response betrays you.  It’s obvious that you yourself are guilty of sexual sins — and want to justify them — that is why you bristle at my talk of sexual propriety.  It is why you don’t like to hear about it.  It is why you don’t want to believe that a person’s sexual indiscretions have any bearing on his character or governance.  You’re much like Newt Gingrich, who also has said that politicians’ personal lives should be off limits.  And anyone who knows his personal history understands well why he feels this way.  How obvious can you be?

So, sorry, F, but these things do matter.  On a very plain, simple level, a marriage is a contract, and adultery is a violation of it.  And as Ross Perot said when referring to Bill Clinton, "If a man’s wife can’t trust him, how can we?" 

Oh, and just to make you happy, I’ll mention that this applies to women as well.

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