By Selwyn Duke

Being a conservative just ain’t
what it used to be. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) was recently accused of
tweeting a “racist” joke — by another Republican.

The issue arose when McCain, responding to Iranian leader
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s remark that he’d like to be sent into space (not, I
assume, by an Israeli nuke), referenced Iran’s recent successful launch of a
monkey into space and tweeted, “So Ahmadinejad wants to be the 1st Iranian in
space — Wasn’t he just there last week?”

Now, I do think McCain owes an apology. After all, the brave
“simianaut” that risked his life to push back the frontiers of Persian science
to 1949 Western
heights should not have his reputation besmirched. Yet GOP congressman
Justin Amash had a different take. Writes Seattlepi.com:

Second-term Rep. Justin Amash,
R-Mich., a second generation Palestinian-American, was not laughing.

“Maybe U should wisen up & not
make racist jokes,” he admonished McCain, also on Twitter.

Okay, now first let me say, Amash, dude, I, like, so totally
just don’t, like, respect someone who writes “you” as “U” in any context. I
mean, aren’t you, like, in Congress, dude? Also note that “wisen” isn’t a word;
perhaps Amash is thinking of “wizen,” which means “to wither,” as in “Our
educational system has withered.” I also have to ask: does Amash even
understand what McCain’s joke references? I note that the congressdude is the
sixth-youngest member of his august body, and I have to wonder if his knowledge
of current events and history match his writing style. Does he even know that
Iran just sent a monkey up 79 miles in a rocket? Is he aware that man has a
long history of sending monkeys into space (and, it seems, a more recent
history of sending them to Congress)?

Whatever the case, Amash’s reaction reminds me of a scene
from the old Get Smart. In it,
CONTROL agent Maxwell Smart is sent to an agency psychiatrist for an
evaluation. The shrink — heavy German accent and all (since half my heritage is
German, should I complain of stereotyping?) — gives the bumbling g-man a Rorschach
test; Smart then proceeds to interpret every nondescript inkblot as people or
animals having sex. When the surprised psychiatrist exclaims, “Mr. Shmaht, you
zeem to be obzessed vith zex!” Smart defensively replies, “Well, you’re the one
showing me the dirty pictures!”

Amash’s problem isn’t McCain’s joke — it’s his own dirty
mind. It’s common to mock leaders by making unflattering comparisons to
animals, monkeys in particular. Why, the left consistently and unashamedly
portrayed George W. Bush as a monkey, and no one accused them of bigotry. Thus,
the fact that Amash would extrapolate McCain’s comment to all Persians says
more about him than it does about the senator.

We also have to wonder what “race” McCain’s joke would be
targeting. Persians are Caucasoid, just like Senator McCain. But I doubt Amash
knows this, and it’s likely he is conflating ethnicity or even religious
affiliation with race, as is common among the brainwashed young. But a quick
lesson, congressman: “Muslim” isn’t a race, “racism” isn’t synonymous with
“bigotry,” and feelings aren’t facts. And a bit of advice, too:

Don’t be a donkey. There are already too many of them taking
up space in government and blasting us into the idiotsphere.

      Contact Selwyn Duke, follow him on Twitter or log on to SelwynDuke.com

          © 2013 Selwyn Duke — All Rights Reserved