By Selwyn Duke

Britain, the once-proud land that made “knife control” a thing and seized children from parents for a lack of fork control (the kids were fat), is at it again. This time, King Charles III has confirmed, the plan is to prohibit anyone born in 2009 or later from ever buying tobacco. Don’t believe the fearmongers who say this portends the ultimate removal of all freedoms, however: You’ll still be able to recommend a “sex change” for the kids or kill one in the womb.

King Charles touted the anti-tobacco measure Tuesday while speaking to Parliament for the first time. 

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